


Tis the Damn Season

by ajarcher



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:54:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28014252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajarcher/pseuds/ajarcher
Summary: Dani left her small town in Iowa and never looked back. Until she comes back for Christmas years later, after having successfully become an actress. Jamie, her high school sweetheart she left behind, runs a flourishing landscaping business that sells Christmas trees, wreaths, and such in the winter and thinks of her often. What happens when they meet up all these years later?Based on the songs Dorothea and Tis the Damn Season from evermore.
Relationships: Dani Clayton & Jamie, Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 21
Kudos: 160





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, but I was really inspired after listening to evermore last night! Wanted to get to this idea before anyone else could snatch it up. Please be kind, but I am also looking for feedback. I just love these two so much and can't wait to see where this goes! (I have a plan, but it is loose and plans change I guess) 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Jamie couldn’t believe it. She had literally paid the local plumber last week to fix the damn sprinkler system in the greenhouse and here she is. No water, just a very high-pitched screech. And the poinsettias, her money maker for this time of year, are thirsty. Perfect way to start off a Thursday morning, she thinks sarcastically.

Fuck.

She rolls up her sleeves, pulls out her phone and searches, “sprinkler system no water loud screech” to find the problem. She reads through a few possible candidates, checking a few parts of the system to see if they match the descriptions, before finally settling on her diagnosis. She grabs her tool box and finds a video tutorial to walk her through what she needs to do to get the sprinkler running again, thinking what a waste of time it was to hire that guy when she could have just done this in the first place. She picks the most viewed video then stops at the ad that plays first. She would know those eyes anywhere, even before they pull back to reveal the actress whose voice is ringing through her ears.

“Dani,” she whispers.

It always takes her by surprise, seeing her like this, on the tiny screen she carries around, ambushing her at the most unexpected times. She tries to catch her breath, every time thinking wow, she really did make it. Dani had made it out there in LA, brushing elbows with all the big names until hers had started to become one. Damn, it had been a while since Jamie had thought about her, who the two of them had been. And as the ad finishes, she wonders if Dani ever thinks about her.

\---

Dani had not been home in years. Had desperately fled home right after high school, in fact. She knew that the small town was not where she wanted to spend her life and she had seen how people got stuck there, had seen how the upperclassmen in the theater department would talk about their wild daydreams only to end up working at the local Wal-Mart, married to a boring husband. She suffocated just thinking about it. And so, she escaped. After graduation she got a one-way ticket to LA, worked odd jobs while she auditioned and took classes and any roles in the local theater she could get. She worked her ass off to get away, and she did not take that lightly.

But her mom had been begging her to visit for Christmas for years, and now her usual excuse of not being able to afford the plane ticket wouldn’t hold. And her show was on a filming hiatus. So, Dani had run out of excuses, and that’s how she ended up here. She stood waiting outside in the cold at the Des Moines airport, waiting for her mom to pull up in their old mini-van. The sandy-chrome one every middle-class kid from the Midwest would recognize.

Dani gives a light wave when she sees her and steps off the curb, her mother rushing from the car to pull her into a tight hug.

“Danielle! It has been way too long since you’ve been home! Isn’t the airport looking nice? They did some renovations on it a couple years ago.”

“Yeah, mom. It is looking a lot better.” Dani smiles before pulling herself out of her mom’s grasp, putting her luggage in the car while she looks back. The airport does indeed look better. Even though it only has 12 gates, it really is a nice airport. The strip mall across the street, however, is a bit of an eye sore. So much for keeping an open mind, Dani chastises herself.

Dani’s mom hardly asks her any questions, talking at Dani instead of with her the entire 40-minute drive home. Dani “mhmm”s and “yeah”s her way through it until she can escape, finding refuge in unpacking her suitcase in her childhood bedroom. Dani smiles at the framed photos from her high school shows, picking up and inspecting one from Beauty and the Beast. It was from her senior year, and she had been cast to play Belle. She loved every second of it. The picture is from after their final show, they had had all of the seniors get up on stage to take pictures. Dani is beaming in it, her arms wrapped around the shoulders of the girl who had ran lights for the show. Dani still in costume and the other girl in her overalls and flannel, a shy smile on the brunette’s face as she holds one arm around Dani and the other hangs stiffly at her side. Her stomach flips looking at that face again, breathing the name, “Jamie”, before she can stop herself. She can’t help but wonder if she is still in town.

She is wretched from that train of thought by her mother’s knock on the door.

“Danielle? Are you decent?”

“Yeah, mom,” she shouts back, holding down the annoyance she was hoping wouldn’t rear its ugly head until after at least the first day back here.

Without further prompting, her mom hurries into the room, “Danielle, I’ve been waiting for you to get here before picking out a tree. But the party is only a day away, and what with your big break, we must meet certain expectations. Are you ready? Could we got pick one up now so we can start decorating as soon as possible?”

Dani takes a breath. Of course, her mother has planned a Christmas party without telling her. And of course, her mother is most concerned about shoving her in front of everyone in town.

“Yeah, I’m ready to go whenever, mom,” she says, deciding its best to hold any other comments to herself for now, realizing she was right when her mother smiles back in return.

They arrive at the local landscape business, and Dani is impressed by how well they transition from the summer months to the winter. Coming up the drive, she can see rows of freshly cut Christmas trees, and when she steps out into the parking lot she can see a greenhouse with a large sign on the front advertising the poinsettias. Very smart, indeed.

Dani and her mom wander the trees for a while, they are mostly all good options if she is being honest. Some trees are smaller, some barely as tall as her, but all are in beautiful condition. She can’t help but be impressed by this place. Finally, her mom settles on a large tree that will probably barely fit on top of the car, leaving Dani alone to “guard the tree” (her mother’s phrase) while she tracks someone down to tie it up for them. She returns a few minutes later with a tired teenager, who does all the work of tying and securing the tree before writing up and tearing off a receipt for them, handing it to her mother with a, “they’ll take care of this up front when you’re done.”

Turns out they are far from done.

“Danielle, you go pick out a nice poinsettia for us, while I go look at the wreaths,” her mother declares, not leaving any room for debate. Dani feels her cold fingers in her mittens and feels relieved at the idea of some warmth inside the greenhouse. When she walks in, it feels almost like a sauna, the air wet as the sprinklers water the plants. It smells heavenly in here, she thinks, wandering between the rows of red flowers. She sees several that would suit their needs just fine, but decides she hasn’t had enough of this greenhouse yet, and decides to make it her mission to find the best one of the group. She rounds the corner of the final row when her heart stops and she can hear herself gasp softly when she takes in the brown curls she would recognize anywhere. The sound alerts the other woman of her presence and she comes face to face with eyes she has tried not to dream about for years. Jamie.

Jamie can hardly believe her eyes as she blinks fiercely a couple of times to clear her vision. She must be hallucinating. There was no way Dani Clayton could be here.

But she is. And she is standing there just as still and careful as Jamie is, both of them too afraid that sudden movements will scare the other off.

“Dani?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeah, it’s me,” Dani smiles, “Jamie, it has been so long.”

At the sound of her name, Jamie seems to snap out of her haze, but only just enough. Only enough to finally feel like she is actually in the room.

“How have you been? It looks like you’ve made something of yourself out there,” Jamie says, voice a little firmer now.

“Yeah, I got lucky,” Dani says, unable to pull her eyes away. “How about you? Do you work here?”

“More like I run the place,” the brunette smirks, “Got a job here right after graduation. Really turned the place around. When the old couple who used to own it decided to retire, they let me buy it from them at a decent price. Good folks, but they managed to negotiate life time free gardening services to sweeten the cost.”

Dani laughs. It wasn’t particularly funny, but she had missed this. Damn, she didn’t realize how much she had been missing this.

Jamie smiles back, too. That same sweet smile she had in high school whenever she had watched Dani laugh. She had missed coaxing those laughs out of her, she realizes as Dani’s laugh fades to a soft smile.

“You’ve done an amazing job here, you know,” Dani says, “The whole time we were out front, I couldn’t stop thinking about how clever it was to convert a landscaping business to a holiday theme in the winter. Genius, really. And every tree outside was in amazing condition, even the little ones”

Jamie lights up at that last comment.

“Yeah, well, I figure the little ones are the most important.” She rubs her neck a little before continuing, “Seems to me like the people buying the little ones are going to be the ones who appreciate it all the most.”

She’s nervous when she says it, but it’s true. And it’s something that’s been important to her since the very start, since the first year she started selling Christmas trees. Dani’s heart melts as soon as the words are out, and she feels like she did all those years ago under the bleachers during pep rallies or after school when they had ditched set building or were waiting for rehearsals to start. She thinks of all those stolen moments that they used to have together. And this is starting to feel like one, the longer they stand staring at each other.

“Danielle, have you found a poinsettia yet? There must be hundreds in here, you must be able to find one!”

Of course it’s her mother who interrupts the moment. Dani rolls her eyes as Jamie gives her a soft smile. Jamie’s sinking heart shows in her eyes, and Dani can’t help but wonder if Jamie is clinging to those moments still too.

“How long are you in town?” Jamie hurries out.

“I leave Tuesday.”

“Oh, so just the weekend then.” Jamie tries not to let the disappointment into her voice but fails miserably. Dani reaches out to grabs her hand, it feels like instinct to comfort her, but she is interrupted before she can make contact.

“Oh, there you are,” her mother sighs as she rounds the corner, “Really, Danielle, it shouldn’t take 20 minutes to pick out a flower.”

Dani pulls her hand back and walks toward her mother.

“Of course not, but there are too many good ones to pick from. I can’t make a decision, but there are some upfront that I was picking between. I’ll meet you up there in a minute.”

That’s when her mother’s eyes finally land on Jamie. She lets out a frustrated sigh before turning around and heading back to the front of the store.

“She never did really like me, did she?” Jamie asks playfully.

“Well, I think she suspected some _things_ ,” Dani smiles and blushes a little when she says it. Of course Jamie can’t pass up this good of an opportunity.

“Oh?” her voice deeper and softer than it had been before, “what kinds of things?”

Dani takes a shaky breath. With Jamie this close, talking like this, and her mom upfront... she shakes her head, this is too much to handle right now.

“I guess I'll just have to remind you.” Dani manages to say it without sounding too eager, her voice steadier than she thought it would be.

Suddenly that voice is interrupting from the front of the store again, “Danielle, I have picked a poinsettia, paid, and loaded everything in the car. Come on, dear, dinner is waiting.”

“I'll message you,” Dani rushes the words before hurrying out into the snow.

\---

_I'll message you?_ Dani thinks as she's curled up in bed that night, anxiously going over the conversation again and again in her head. Way to sound like a teenage girl again, she berates herself. She’s on her private Facebook account, where she finds she is still friends with Jamie after all these years. _What am I doing?_ she asks herself as her thumb hovers over the blue message button. Maybe Jamie doesn’t want this…

But Dani does.

_Hey. It was really good to see you today._

Dani lets it sit for a second before pressing send. She sits, holding her breath, as the circle next to Jamie’s name turns green after a few moments. The dreaded dots appearing, disappearing, and then reappearing again.

_It was actually kind of great to see you today._

Her heart skips. So, it was great for her too, not just good.

_I would love to see you again, if you’re free. Outside of work and all that, I mean._

_Yeah, that would be nice. What did you have in mind?_

Dani has to hold back the words she really wants to say. That it has been entirely too long and all she can think about since she saw her is Jamie’s lips back on her own. Those lips moving their way down her neck…

_Do you remember that weird parking lot between the Methodist church and the old high school?_

_That’s where you want to catch up? Can’t remember a better place in town after only a few years?_

Dani can’t help but blush, knowing the real reason why she wants to meet up there. No one else will be meeting up there, either.

_Well, do you remember it?_

There’s a pause where Dani knows Jamie is remembering it. She knows she’s also remembering all the same moments Dani is, curled up in the back of Jamie’s old truck all those years ago.

Maybe this was too forward.

_Of course I remember._

\---

Jamie is staring at her phone, red around her ears, wondering if Dani is implying what she thinks she is.

_Can we meet there tomorrow?_

She shakes her head. Dani Clayton has been back in town for less than 12 hours and she is already trying to murder her. She gives a small laugh and thinks, there’s no way she would rather go.

_Does 7 work for you? I’m taking the morning off work anyway._

_Yes._


	2. Chapter 2

The parking lot is empty at 6:50 when Dani pulls in, the gravel crunching beneath her tires before she stops in the corner furthest from the entrance. She rests her head on the steering wheel, wondering what she is doing here.

She lifts her eyes to look over the dashboard at the building in front of her. The church looked the same as it always had, with snow blanketing the roof and icicles hanging from the gutters. That same sign out front, with the encouraging quote of the week, “How can God steer if you have a death grip on the wheel?”, the same worn-out basketball hoop that looked like it needed replacing the last time she was here. She twists around to look at the school. The school where all of this started, where a shy Jamie had let her fall asleep on her shoulder freshman year during a particularly grueling tech week. She gives a soft smile at the memory, taking in the school that has hardly changed at all. A tree gone there, another added over there, and clearly a new paint job on the equipment shed, but other than that, from her view the building is exactly the same. It’s like everything has been sitting, waiting for her to get back.

It’s not long before she hears that familiar gritting sound of another car entering the parking lot. Dani whips around and sees that same old truck Jamie had been driving all those years ago. It’s the same truck they had been in the last time they met up in this parking lot, and it makes Dani’s stomach do flips just thinking about it. She hops out of her car and shoves her hands in her pockets, waiting for Jamie to park, waiting until she hears the click of the lock releasing before letting herself into the passenger seat.

Jamie is sitting there with that little smirk on her face and Dani’s heart stops. How had she forgotten how attractive this woman was? How was she going to make it through a morning alone with her?

“I thought we agreed on 7,” Jamie teases, tapping the clock on the dashboard that reads 6:54.

“Well, you’re here early, too,” Dani giggles back. Clearly, she wasn’t the only one eager this morning.

“Alright, you caught me,” Jamie puts her hands up in mock surrender, “what are you going to do with me now, officer Clayton?”

Oh, the things Dani wants to do, the things she can’t say. Jamie’s smirk falters as she sees a hint of Dani’s thoughts in her eyes. She moves one hand to the back of her neck and rubs it nervously before returning her hands to the wheel, never breaking the eye contact that feels so heavy.

It’s Dani who finally looks away, blushing from the sudden heat and excitement. She looks down at her hands before saying shyly, “Umm, not much has changed around here, has it?”

Jamie gives a short laugh, “You have no idea… would you want the tour?”

“What do you mean?” Dani asks.

“Want me to show you around town? See the sights?” Jamie gives a soft smile to Dani, who nods, before shifting into reverse.

Dani realizes that her initial impression was right, not much had changed. They had gotten another Fareway and a new gas station on the south side of town. The barn that was so run down five years ago looked as haunted as it ever had. She remembers the night she and Jamie had snuck in there to try to see the infamous ghost. Remembers the way Jamie had jumped in front of her to protect her when a window had been slammed by the wind.

Jamie can’t help but think about how surreal it is to have Dani back in her passenger seat, how Dani still holds the door handle when she gets too close to the car in front of them for Dani’s liking. She makes a note to stay back, smiling softly to herself. Not a lot had changed there, either. She was still the same old Dani. She asks Dani about LA, her new life, her new friends. About what it’s like to be “famous”.

“I am not famous,” Dani giggles softly, “No one knows who I am. Not the people out there who seem to matter.”

“Who out there does matter, then?” Jamie asks curiously, slowing down for the yellow light in the distance.

Dani lets out a sigh. “Out there, it’s all about who you know. You could say that you’re known for who you know. And I know nobody.”

They come to a stop at the red light. The only traffic light in town and they managed to catch the red. Jamie turns to look into Dani’s eyes, searching for something there, before giving a soft smile.

“Well, Dani Clayton, if you’re ever tired of being known for who you know,” here she gives a wink that melts Dani’s heart, “Just know that you will always know me.”

And that makes Dani grin bigger than she ever has, making Jamie burst into laughter.

“Alright, hot shot, I will remember that,” Dani laughs, reaching over to give Jamie a playful push on the shoulder.

Jamie laughs, too, before continuing, “I’m serious, Poppins. If you’re ever feeling lonely out there, know that you can always give me a call. I’m pretty available most days.”

“It’s been a while since you called me that.”

“What? Poppins?”

Dani smiles, “Couldn’t be bothered to ask around for what my name was, so you just called me by my character for weeks!”

“I was a shy freshman who’d just moved across the freaking ocean! Forgive me for not wanting to wander around asking people who the hot girl playing Mary Poppins in the winter musical was. I’m proud of myself for even signing up to do tech that year!”

“Who did you eventually ask?”

Dani leans forward to get a better view of the embarrassed look on Jamie’s face when her question is met with silence.

“Okay, now you definitely have to tell me. Who did you ask?”

Jamie fidgets with the steering wheel before mumbling an answer Dani can’t understand.

“I’m sorry, who?”

“I snuck into the ticket office and pinched a program. Read your name in there.”

“Are you serious?” Dani shouts as Jamie nods before chuckling at herself, clearly embarrassed.

They laugh for a moment before falling back into a comfortable silence, not needing to talk to fill the moment. It’s nice enough just to be back together, to feel the warmth of being with someone who isn’t going to judge you. Of being with someone you know knows you and likes you anyway. Someone who actually likes you because they really know you.

It’s not long after that they are back in the parking lot, a couple of spots away from Dani’s car. There are only so many sights to see in a town of 3500, and Dani feels a brief panic that Jamie is going to kick her out here and she will never see her again. She doesn’t even have time to come up with an excuse to stay camped in this car before Jamie turns to her, leaning her chair back just slightly to make the angle more comfortable. Seeing her settle in like this calms Dani’s heart.

Jamie, on the other hand, is panicked that she’s being too forward, assuming it’s okay to hold Dani hostage like this. But one nervous glance at Dani quiets any fears she may have had. She clearly wants to be here, too.

A comfortable silence settles between the two of them, familiar enough with each other despite the time and distance that has separated them from the last time they were here. And neither can stop thinking about all the times in this car. In this parking lot.

“Do you remember when we decided not to go to prom?” Dani asks abruptly, gesturing at the school behind them, and Jamie barks a loud laugh.

“I thought your mom was going to kill us!” Jamie smiles, “She was so pissed! She’d bought you that dress without even asking and complained for weeks about how she had ‘wasted all that money’.”

“I’m surprised she never made me pay that back; she was so angry. I don’t even know why she cared that much! Always pushing me to do pageants, even though I hated them and therefore sucked at them.”

“You could have won them all, if you tried even a little,” Jamie smirks. Dani gently brushes her arm, blushing at the compliment.

“You flirt.”

They sit there smiling at each other, feeling at peace with the other. Even though Jamie can’t take her eyes off of her, Dani hasn’t felt this free in years. Like the judging eyes have finally looked away and she is okay to just be. To just be here with Jamie.

“Speaking of flirts,” Jamie looks at her conspiratorially, “you would not believe how many of those snobs who gave us a hard time in high school have come onto me now that they’re unsatisfied in their rushed marriages. It’s ridiculous!”

Dani smiles tersely, the blood getting hotter and hotter in her veins.

“You remember Savannah Young? Yeah, she tried to kiss me by my lilacs in the greenhouse a couple summers back! No warning, just leapt at me. Scared the shit out of me, if I’m being honest. And Angela King slid into my messages on Facebook in March, shut that down right quick. Not to mention the most shocking, Paige…”

Dani can’t take it anymore. She leans over the center console, pulling Jamie closer by the collar of her coat, and firmly presses her lips to the gardener’s. She holds there for a moment, still and forceful, before pulling back.

“If I wanted to know who you were with while I was gone,” Dani whispers with such intensity it makes Jamie shudder, “I would have asked you.”

Jamie looks for any hesitation in Dani’s eyes, but sees none. “Thank fuck,” she whispers to herself, moving her hand from resting on Dani’s headrest to tangle into Dani’s hair.

Their lips meet again, softer this time, as Jamie moves her other hand to Dani’s cheek, gently rubbing her thumb on the soft skin. She moves her hand to play with the hair at the nape of Dani’s neck, earning her a low moan from the blonde. Jamie takes the opportunity to run her tongue along Dani’s lower lip, and is eagerly granted access. Dani grips the front of her coat tighter, pulling her impossibly close given the console separating them. Jamie pulls back slightly, earning her a frustrated sigh from Dani.

“Any interest in moving this to the back seat?” Jamie breaths, trying to slow things down and speed them up at the same time, not wanting to push too far.

But there was no need for worry, as Dani gives her an eager nod before climbing into the backseat. She reaches forward, grabbing Jamie’s hand, pulling her back to settle on top of her, using the blankets stored back here as a pillow for her head. Dani looks up at Jamie, who has settled with one leg between Dani’s, clearly looking down at her for confirmation that this is okay.

Dani wraps her arms around her shoulders, pulling her down into a heated kiss. Her head is spinning and she can’t believe she’s been missing out on this all these years. Maybe she should have come home for Christmas more often. Jamie gently pulls down the zipper of her coat, pushing the fabric to either side before finding the hem of Dani’s sweater and caressing the skin she finds underneath. The contact makes Dani gasp and her hips grind down slightly into Jamie’s leg. Jamie kisses below Dani’s ear, slowly making her way down her neck as Dani continues to move below her and digs her fingers into her back hard enough that Jamie can feel her nails through her coat.

Dani is so lost in this moment that she hardly hears the ringing of her phone in the front seat, letting out a groan when Jamie pulls back to reach for it. She hands it to Dani before leaning back against the other wall of the truck, looking as frustrated as Dani feels but still looking at her with that teasing smirk.

“Hello?” Dani huffs into the phone.

“Oh, good, finally,” her mother’s voice comes through, “Danielle, you really ought to check your phone more often. I must have called you three times in the last five minutes.

Dani pulls the phone back and sees that her mother had indeed called her. She rolls her eyes, regretting that she hadn’t ignored this one too.

“I’m out catching up with some people from high school, mom, what do you need?”

She catches her breath as Jamie slides her hand along the skin at the top of her sock, moving further up her pant leg to touch her shin, rubbing her thumb along the back of her calf. Her reaction earns her a wink from Jamie, who chuckles to herself when Dani blushes. To think, after what they had just been doing, this playful moment would get them both so giddy.

“We only finished the tree last night, dear,” her mother huffs, “There is plenty more work to do before the party tonight. I need you to get back here. Why don’t you just invite these people to the party? You can catch up then, instead of leaving me to handle everything now.”

“Alright, I’ll do that. I will be back soon, mom.” Dani hangs up, giving an apologetic grimace at the disappointment written in Jamie’s eyes.

“So, you need to be getting back then? That’s alright, really, I should probably be getting back to work anyway.” Jamie starts to shift toward the front seat when Dani grabs her arm, pulling her back in for another searing kiss.

“Come to the party tonight,” Dani begs when she has to finally break away for breath.

“At your house?” Jamie raises an eyebrow, “How’s Mrs. Clayton going to feel about that?”

“Honestly, I don’t give a shit what my mom thinks,” Dani holds her eye contact firm, “I want you there. I _need_ you there.”

Now it is Jamie’s turn to blush as she gives a hopeful smile.

“Okay then,” she shakes her head a little, “Finally, I get to see the famous Clayton Christmas Party. Text me the details later, alright?”

Dani leans in to give her another soft kiss before climbing into the front seat and hopping out of the truck back out into the cold winter’s air. She turns when she’s only halfway back to her own car, giving a soft wave. Jamie smiles in return and nods her acknowledgement. When Dani reaches her car, she gives another wave, making Jamie laugh and wave back. It’s been ages since either has laughed so much or felt so free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, this is heavily based on the song Tis the Damn Season and Dorothea from Evermore, with some of the dialog coming from there, too. Hopefully this chapter was alright! Looking forward to next chapter, and a note: no one will die in this fic and despite the song, this will have a happy ending.


	3. Chapter 3

Jamie nearly drowns a tree replaying the scenes from her truck that morning, muting out the world with the sounds Dani had made. She snaps out of it, abruptly turning off the hose and retreating back to the greenhouse. The bloody water system is acting up again and she just knows this is going to be the distraction that she needs for the rest of the morning. But the red petals, soft on her hands as reaches through to the pipes behind them, remind her of Dani’s lips, so soft yet firm against her own.

_What have I gotten myself into?_

Jamie gives a chuckle under her breath and a small shake of her head. It’s then that she realizes that she’s not only holding onto the physical moments of the morning, but so much more. Dani’s laugh, unchanged by time and distance, making her heart flutter the same as it had in high school. Jamie was surprised by how eager she was to elicit that laughter, and by how easily that challenge had been met. Her smile was still sweeter than any candy, and her eyes still couldn’t hide what was underneath. When Dani had been talking about the difficulties of LA, Jamie had seen the struggle behind the smile. And it amazed her that after all these years, she could still tell which smiles she was faking.

She reaches for the wrench to tighten up the loose connection, then steps back to admire her work. The winter really is awful for these systems, and the greenhouse isn’t enough to keep the pipes lining the walls from freezing over. It makes sense why Dani had to get out of here. Sometimes she thinks, well, maybe if she had an escape plan she would take it. But she doesn’t, so here she is, hooking up with her high school sweetheart who managed to make it.

_She managed to make it, but she still came back to me. She still wants to be around me._

And that thought keeps her smiling until she has to head home at five to get herself ready for tonight.

\---

Dani is nervous. Standing next to the Christmas tree half an hour before the party is supposed to start, with her mother in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on the hors d’oeuvres, running her fingers through her gently curled hair, Dani Clayton cannot quiet her fidgeting fingers as she zones out staring at the door. There are so many scenarios playing and replaying through her head, amping her heart rate the roof. What if Jamie decides not to show up? What if Jamie is here, but cold? What if she regrets this morning? What would she say, what would she do if she had hurt the woman who meant so much to her? Jamie was still the girl she had loved, now grown into a woman who it seemed still had a hold on her heart. Gosh, she had had no idea how much of her heart was left here with her until this morning. Sure, she had had amazingly happy moments in L.A., and she is proud of all she has accomplished and for getting out of this town. But she hadn’t been this _giddy_. And that made her nervous for what would happen next.

But it’s not just Jamie, she reminds herself as she pulls at the hem of her black dress. She knows that her mother has invited people she wants to impress; knows that this party is more than just a festive little get together. There is pressure to perform, to be the successful daughter she can brag about for years to come. The impression she makes tonight is going to be the crutch her mother leans on during catch-ups at the grocery store, and she is more than aware of that.

Thinking about it makes her stomach turn again and she hurries back to the upstairs bathroom, bends over the sink to investigate every inch of her face. She makes a couple adjustments, then leans back to take in the whole picture. Her blonde hair is styled with soft curls framing her face, her black dress hugging in just the right places. She hopes that it is enough to smooth over any regrets or hesitations Jamie might be having, knowing that if they don’t take advantage of this time now, they might never get another chance. Tis the damn season, after all.

\---

When Dani returns downstairs, three couples of her mother’s friends have arrived, all parents of her former classmates. She paints on her most amiable smile and welcomes them with an over-enthusiasm that her mother nods approval of behind their backs. She fields questions about the culture of L.A., questions about her agent and the audition process, questions about who the biggest celebrity she has worked with and who she dreams to work with someday.

The conversation turns to updates on how their children are doing, catching Dani up on the adults that they have become. As Mrs. Young brags of her son Stephen’s family, his children and wife of four years, Dani can’t help but remember the information Jamie had given her earlier, of how eager everyone is to paint a rosy glow on every picture.

“What about you, Dani? Do you have a nice young man out there in L.A.?” Mrs. Young asks.

Her mother turns sharply, shooting daggers across the room. Dani minutely rolls her eyes as someone chimes in, naming her co-star and character’s romantic interest.

“Nope, no fella for me. I’m happy just getting to act,” Dani answers, receiving a small nod from her mother. Her mom is aware of her sexuality, and so is her agent. She has been clear that if the subject comes up, she will not lie, and she will not pretend to date anyone she has no interest in or hide a future relationship when she has one. But, she figures now isn’t the time to drop bombs for her mom to dodge now. She can drop them from L.A., when she doesn’t have to deal with the fallout in person.

After twenty minutes, a long twenty minutes spent looking eagerly at the door each time it opens, Jamie still hasn’t arrived. But another high school face she recognizes does walk in. “Shit,” she mutters, looking for an escape from the man in the glasses who hasn’t lost the lanky awkwardness he had had as a boy. Dani ducks behind a couple, shuffling behind them toward the kitchen when she hears a booming, “Dani! Long time no see!” trapping her. She turns around with a grimace. “Eddie!” And he walks over to the secluded spot she was trying to rush through moments before.

“How have you been, Clayton? Gosh, it is good to see you.”

“I’m good, Eddie. How have you been?” she asks awkwardly, dreading where this conversation may go.

“I’ve been good. Took over dad’s construction company so he could retire. He and mom spend the winters down in Florida now, they only come back for the snow at Christmas.”

She gives a small nod and raises her eyebrows, and they both shuffle uncomfortably in the roaring silence.

“Dani,” Eddie starts, “Can I talk to you about something I wish I had said years ago?”

Dani’s heart turns to stone, growing cold in fear. Is this the moment she has dreaded for years? The inevitable horror that has been following her since childhood.

“Can we be friends again?” The question takes her by surprise.

“Huh?”

“Can we be friends? I know that our parents made that difficult. That they made jokes and made expectations. And I want you to know that I never had those expectations. Actually, I never had those wants. But I know it was uncomfortable, and I totally get why you cut me out of your life. But I’d like to be your friend again, if that’s okay?” He gives a soft smile, looking at her with hope and a little bit of those joking eyes that had made her want to be his friend at eight years old.

“Oh,” Dani shakes her head to clear it, “Yeah, sure. Actually, I would really like that.” She smiles at him then, giving him a nod and surprised laugh, “I didn’t realize you noticed what happened.”

“Of course I noticed, you were one of my best friends. But people were making things too awkward for me too, so I totally understood why you didn’t talk to me any more. But you are one of the coolest people I ever met. And I’d like to have my friend back.”

Dani smiles and nods, head instinctively turning at the sound of the door opening again. And there she is. Jamie walks in, wearing a tight black dress, her hair it’s natural curl, but neat. Dani’s smile changes as she watches her get a drink, her heart starting that now-familiar flutter at the sight of her face.

“You and Jamie would have made an awfully cute couple,” Eddie whispers, giving a knowing wink.

Dani snaps her head back in surprise, fixing him with an incredulous look that makes Eddie laugh.

“What? You two though you were being discrete? Everyone knew you had a thing for each other.”

“You knew?” Dani asks in awe.

“Dani,” he fixes her with a serious look, “I’ve known for a long time.”

“You’ve what?”

“Do you remember when we were like eleven and we watched that bad Disney Channel movie with the sisters and the diary turned book?”

“Are you talking about Read It and Weep? Don’t lie, you loved that movie, too.”

“Alright,” he raises his hands in defense, “but remember how you would not shut up about Kay Panabaker?”

Dani raises an eyebrow.

“Dani, you made go see the _Fame_ remake with you! And you got all upset about how mean they were to her!”

“Well, they were really mean!” Dani says defensively.

“But you cared _so much_. And that’s when I figured it out.”

Dani gives a laugh, “Alright, you got me. I might be kind of into her.”

“Have you talked to her since you got back?”

At this, Dani turns pink, “Maybe. We met up by the high school this morning.”

“You met up in the make-out parking lot?? Wow, you move fast, Clayton,” Eddie laughs, “Well, we will catch up later. I’ll let you go get your girl.” And with that, he gives another wink and walks off to mingle with some of the other guests.

Dani feels light, that nightmare resolving itself better than could have ever dreamt, as she stands on her tiptoes searching for dark curls. She finally meets Jamie’s eyes and her stomach flips at what she finds in them. If she didn’t know better, she’d say Jamie was jealous.

\---

Jamie arrives about half an hour after the start of the Christmas party. The first person she sees is Karen Clayton, who gives her a surprised look before returning her attention to her guests. She makes a beeline to the drinks table, figuring that she might need some alcohol to make it through this night. It’s while she’s sipping her drink, gazing over the crowded room, that she sees Dani alone with Eddie O’Mara, the guy everybody in high school had seemed to want Dani to end up with. Just seeing him again makes her want to hit something, makes her blood boil like it hadn’t since those early days in high school listening to other girls tease Dani about her friendship with a boy. They teased her in a way that she wishes they had teased Dani about her.

It’s as she is gearing up to confront him that her attention is pulled away by a shorter spectacled man and his beautiful wife.

“Jamie! It’s been ages! How have you been?” Hannah asks as she pulls her into a hug.

“Business still blooming?” Owen asks, leaning in for a hug but getting a light punch in the arm instead, “Ow!”

“You still at the bad puns, mate?” Jamie asks, before finally giving in and accepting his hug.

“Always. It’s all I am,” he jokes, and Hannah laughs softly and shakes her head.

“Can’t believe a smart woman like you married a joker like him,” Jamie teases Hannah.

“Oh, that’s the question everyone has. But I rather like him. Think I’ll keep him around.”

“What happened to Paris, you two? Thought you had a café out there, what brought you back to the Midwest?”

“My mum isn’t doing as well as she had been. Figured I needed to be here for this,” Owen says, and Hannah reaches to stroke his arm, “I’ve got a partner out there running the day-to-day stuff until I can go back.”

“Shit, sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah. Me too,” Owen gives a tight smile before shrugging, “Anyway, what about you? What have you been up to?”

“Well, I’ve got the only landscaping place in town now. Other than that, not a whole lot. Had a goldfish, but that didn’t work out.”

Owen and Hannah laugh, but Jamie notices movement out of the corner of her eye. Dani is laughing at something fucking O’Mara said and her anger impossibly grows. Her fists clench and she takes a couple deep breaths in an attempt to calm down.

“Ah,” Hannah says knowingly over her glass, following Jamie’s gaze, “That’s still going on.”

“What are you talking about?” Jamie snaps, shocked.

“Jamie,” Owen rolls his eyes, “Literally everyone knew about the two of you.”

“Wait, are you serious?”

Owen and Hannah both nod, smirking at her.

“Then why didn’t anyone say anything!”

“We were all waiting for the two of you to say something first! Didn’t want to rush you, or whatever. Figured it wasn’t my business until then, anyway,” Hannah says.

Movement draws her eye again and this time Eddie is retreating to the snack table, leaving Dani standing alone. She meets her eyes, trying not to let her jealousy seep into her face.

“Looks like maybe this is your shot,” Owen says, giving her a little push.

And Jamie lets the momentum take over.

\---

Dani fidgets with the hem of her skirt, looking around nervously, constantly flitting back to reconnect with Jamie’s unwavering gaze. When she finally stops in front of her, Dani can feel her eyes taking her in, and tries to stay calm while Jamie undresses her with her eyes.

“Well, looks like you’re trying to scandalize the village,” Jamie smirks, her eyes still showing that hint of green.

“Oh, please don’t remind me this town is technically a village,” Dani groans, even though her heart is pounding in anticipation.

“Seems you’ve got more friends in town than I knew you had,” Jamie states with a raised brow. Dani can’t help but give a soft laugh, even though this clear jealousy on Jamie is hot. It’s clear that she is trying to hold it down, but failing miserably, and that self-awareness to try to hold back is such a turn on for Dani.

“Oh, settle down, he’s not interested, you goof. And obviously, I’m not interested,” Dani lowers her voice for her next words, “Now, you on the other hand…”

“Yeah? What about me?” Jamie teases.

“You, I might be very, very interested in.” Dani holds eye contact, knowing what she just did was very bold, but Jamie’s inhale and darkened eyes only encourage her confidence. “Would you maybe like a tour?”

“Oh, absolutely.”

Jamie follows Dani’s lead as she walks out of the room, paying special attention as she follows her up the staircase, wondering how she’s gotten this lucky.

“Don’t think I don’t know you are staring at my ass,” Dani laughs, playfully hitting Jamie when they reach the top landing.

Jamie turns red and rubs her hand against the back of her neck in embarrassment, “Well, I thought that’s where this was going.”

Dani laughs, “You aren’t wrong, but that doesn’t mean I can’t tease you a bit.”

“Then I can tease you about the fact that I was in this house at least once a week for four years. Don’t really need much of a tour, do I?”

“Isn’t there anything else that you would like to explore?” Dani suggests, biting her bottom lip and backing into the room Jamie knows to be hers.

“Hold on,” Jamie says, taking a breath to clear her head, “If we disappear into your room, everybody down there is going to know what is going on. Is there anywhere else private we can go?”

Dani leans against the doorframe, thinking over her options. She finally lights up with the perfect solution.

“Follow me,” she says, grabbing Jamie’s hand down the stairs and letting go before rejoining the party. “Of course, you’ll want to see the yard, too, Jamie. We’d love any suggestions on what to do in the winter,” Dani comments and she shoves a hat on her head and pushes Jamie’s coat into her arms. And before Jamie can even finish pulling on her other sleeve, Dani is pulling her out into the snow-covered lawn, and it dawns on her where they are going.

“Are you bringing me out to the tool shed?” Jamie asks.

“Of course, I’m bringing you out to the tool shed,” Dani exclaims, “You’re a gardener! It’s perfect!”

Jamie laughs as Dani opens the shed door and pulls her in, stopping abruptly as Dani’s lips crash into hers. The gentle beginning with all of its questions and reassurances is gone and this is pure need. They both know how much they want each other, how much their bodies have been aching for each other, the constant soundtrack in the background of their day to day lives.

Jamie spins Dani to push her against the shed door, closing it in the process. Dani reaches to her right without breaking the kiss, turning on the light above them. “Want to see you,” Dani murmurs against Jamie’s lips, “Went too long without seeing you.” Jamie gently caresses Dani’s neck, rubbing her thumb on Dani’s cheek as she runs her tongue along her bottom lip. Dani grants access immediately, giving a soft moan into the deep kiss.

Dani reaches her hand reaches under Jamie’s coat, putting her hand on the small of her back and pulling her closer, wanting her impossibly close, wanting to lose herself in Jamie. Jamie moves her other hand to the back of Dani’s head, massaging in her hair and deepening the kiss even more. Finally, Dani can’t breathe anymore and pulls back slightly. Jamie pulls at the back of her neck slightly, giving her enough room to move down to Dani’s neck. She gives light bites followed by soft kisses, making Dani’s knees weak and she relies on the door to keep her standing. Jamie can’t get enough of Dani’s soft skin, her intoxicating scent, her quiet sounds that drive her wild and only further ignite the flames.

Jamie removes her hand from the back of Dani’s head and moves it to the hem of her dress, gently grazing the skin of her thigh as she reconnects their lips. Dani wraps her arms around Jamie’s shoulders, eliciting a contended sigh from the other woman, her hand now firmly settled on her mid-thigh. When Dani starts playing with the curls at the nape of Jamie’s neck, the gardener lets out a frustrated groan, reaching down with her other arm and picking Dani up, pinning her against the door as Dani squeezes her legs around her waist and lets out a squeak as her center meets Jamie’s abs. Through the fabric of her underwear and Jamie’s dress, Dani can still feel her firm stomach, with her muscles flexing from holding her weight.

“Dani? Where have you disappeared to?” Karen Clayton’s voice comes blaring through the thin walls, echoing off the snow outside.

“Damn it,” Dani exhales as she releases her legs and lets Jamie take a step back. “Just showing Jamie the tool shed, mom,” she yells back, looking at Jamie apologetically.

They straighten themselves up before exiting the shed, wrapping Jamie’s high-collared jacket around Dani’s shoulders, figuring it is better for people to see her wearing her jacket instead of her bite marks.

The rest of the evening is frustratingly uneventful, as her mother watches her like a hawk and pulls her into conversations with random guests every time she talks to Jamie for what her mother deems to be too long. She has a quiet good-bye with Jamie, under her mother’s watchful eye at the doorway. But luckily, this isn’t until after many promises and reassurances that they will see each other again tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update! This chapter is a little longer, so hopefully that makes up for some of it!
> 
> This is definitely a different Eddie than who we saw in the show, but I thought this kind of friendship is important too. And we get some Hannah and Owen here! They got their happily ever after in Paris, which they definitely deserved.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took so long! January got busy, but I should be able to update much more regularly now! It's looking like this is going to be about 7 chapters. Enjoy!

Dani hums to herself. In the shower, brushing her teeth, putting her socks on. All of it feels like a dream today and she can’t remember the last time she felt this content. If she’s honest, though, she does. Jamie’s smile passes before her eyes and she can’t help her sigh. Everything always seems to lead back to Jamie. But Jamie leads back to here. And she can’t stay here.

She returns to her room, overwhelmed by how much this doesn’t feel like _her_ room anymore. Her mother has been careful not to change anything, like someone had died who she was trying to preserve. Looking around, Dani can’t say someone didn’t. That idealistic kid who always said _yes ma’am_ , who could never imagine jumping the way she did without a net. The adult who got very lucky, who had to catch that net a few times on the way down in order to climb back up, stands in the middle of the room and can’t help but feel like something has been lost in order to gain.

Out of nowhere comes a loud _splat_ and the remains of the snowball are melting down her window. Dani jumps at the sound before hurrying to open her window, finding Jamie beaming below, winding up with a second snowball.

“Hey, what are you doing down there?” she calls in her most forceful whisper, struggling to hold back her laugh.

“I thought maybe you weren’t done with me yet!” Jamie shouts back, the biggest grin Dani has ever seen on her face.

“Shhh! Don’t wake my mom up; I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Is that a yes then?” Jamie asks, the slightest hesitancy creeping into her voice then.

“Of course, you doofus,” Dani blushes behind her giggles, “I’ll be right down but you have to promise to be quiet.”

“Oh, that won’t be a problem for me, Poppins,” Jamie mutters, “It’s you I’m worried about.”

Dani tiptoes down the stairs, taking the most care on the landing as she passes her mother’s room. While her mom’s room being on the main floor may make the journey to her room more difficult, having it as far as possible from Dani’s will come in handy for what she has planned for after they make it there.

She opens the sliding glass door, cursing softly when it gets caught on the ice, before grabbing Jamie’s wrist and dragging her into the warmth. Before Jamie has a chance to tease her for her eagerness, Dani puts her hand on her cold cheek and pulls her into a searing kiss.

“Quiet, remember,” Dani whispers against her lips before giving a final soft peck and reaching for Jamie’s hand, rushing her up the steps.

It’s not until they are in her room, Jamie leaning back against her door, undeniably _there_ , that Dani allows herself a breath and her brain catches up to what they are about to do.

“Hey,” Jamie whispers, gently guiding Dani’s chin to allow her to look her fully in the eye, “We don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to. I can leave anytime. You are in charge here. Okay?”

And that seals it. Dani pushes forward, pressing Jamie further back into the wood of the door. She moves her hands to tangle in the dark curls, pulling Jamie impossibly closer. Jamie lets out a soft groan when Dani runs her tongue along her lower lip before eagerly granting her access. She moves her own hands to the small of Dani's back, pulling her close before starting to walk her back towards the bed. She can’t help but laugh at the surprised “oof" Dani lets out when she hits the edge of the bed sooner than she expected, her knees buckle before she lands gracelessly on the bed.

“Shhhh,” Dani reminds her in between her own giggles before reaching for Jamie’s collar and pulling her flush on top of her.

That certainly shuts her up as Jamie is overwhelmed by every inch of Dani below her.

They start slow; roaming hands exploring the skin unexplored for so long but never forgotten. Jamie shifts her weight to push her knee between Dani’s legs, quickening at the low moan Dani lets out at the contact. Emboldened by this encouragement, she glides her hand further up Dani's pajama shirt and massages her uncovered breast. Dani's hands slip under the collar of Jamie’s shirt, pulling her even closer and her pleasure grows even more intense.

It isn’t long before there is nothing between them, no barrier protecting any piece of themselves from the other. And even though they had broken down so many roadblocks together in high school, this part, this nakedness, was new territory. As Jamie explored each new inch with her eyes, in awe of the woman in front of her, Dani raked her eyes over Jamie too. Her gaze steady, met Jamie's as she reached for one of Jamie’s hands and brought it to her upper thigh.

“Touch me Jamie,” she whispered, “please.”

And she does, soft but firm, as Dani moans and gasps below her. She kisses and sucks at the softness of Dani's neck, both too far gone to think of the marks that will be left there come morning.

“Jamie,” Dani pants, “I'm gonna..”

With that Dani grips her tight, digging her fingernails into Jamie’s shoulders, pulling her impossibly close as she rides out her wave of pleasure. When Dani falls limp, exhausted from her high, Jamie kisses her sweaty forehead before moving to her side, pulling Dani into her arms.

“That was so good, Jamie,” Dani mumbles against her chest, “So good.”

Jamie lets out a soft chuckle, giving Dani’s forehead another kiss before pulling Dani into her further.

“Give me just a minute, I'll be ready in a minute,” Dani sighs as her body relaxes, before a slight twitch gives her away.

“Dani, it’s okay,” Jamie gives a small laugh when Dani gives another twitch, “You can go to sleep. I'm happy to be here holding you. And besides, Poppins, I'm pretty tired too.”

With that, Dani finally lets go, her legs entwined with Jamie's, her hand gripping the collar of her shirt. Every time she twitches, she tugs at Jamie's collar, melting her heart a little more each time. It doesn’t take long before Dani is letting out what can only be described as a light purr, and Jamie can’t help but marvel at her luck to get to hold this girl as she sleeps. The damp drool spot on her shirt is a small price to pay for this happiness.

Jamie finds that she exaggerated how tired she was, amped on the very presence of Dani. Since she can’t sleep, she takes in this room she had known so well so few years ago. Not much has changed, but as she squints in the moonlight, she amazed at how many pieces of herself she had left here. A book she had gotten for Dani stacked on the bedside table, a smiley face on a post-it she had passed to her in a class taped to the bulletin board, and the framed photos of the two of them. Alone or in groups, the shared memories tie them to each other no matter how much time has passed.

Dani gives a particularly violent spasm before falling further into sleep and Jamie runs her hand through her hair before leaving a light kiss. She continues her search of the room before her eyes land on something that starts her heart at a sprint. She knows she wasn’t meant to see this, but that only makes it the more exciting, more meaningful. From the way it is sitting, it is clear that Dani has been looking at it. Might have looked at it shortly before Jamie got here.

Dani's purse is sitting on a chair near her desk, open with Dani’s wallet barely visible. But sticking out of the wallet, haphazardly shoved back into it, is a red well-worn piece of paper that Jamie would recognize anywhere. She knows that the blocky black script inside is her own. And that Dani had kept it, had kept it so close that it is hidden in her wallet, with her everywhere she goes, nearly stops her heart. Maybe Dani had never stopped thinking about her either.

Eventually, Jamie also falls into a deep sleep, holding Dani close the whole time.

\---

They wake with the sun, Dani having forgotten to close her shades after looking out to find the beaming Jamie with a snowball the night before. Dani rubs her eyes before sleepily smiling up at Jamie. She cannot believe that she is the lucky girl who gets to wake up in Jamie’s arms.

As Jamie smiles lazily back at her, Dani remembers the events of the night before. She moves the thumb she has on Jamie’s collar under to brush her skin and feels her tense beneath her.

“I think I owe you,” Dani whispers and she moves to straddle Jamie, kissing gently at her neck as she moves her hands to tease the skin exposed between her shirt and pants.

“You don’t owe me anything,” Jamie husks, “But if you want to, I am more than happy to accept anything you want to give.”

Dani moves to nibble on the lobe of Jamie’s ear before sighing into her ear, “Oh, I want you, Jamie.” She kisses down her neck, unbuttoning the loose flannel as she goes, pulling it apart to kiss each piece of exposed skin. “Let me show you how much I want you,” she says finally as she hooks her thumbs under Jamie’s pants, dragging them down and finally off. She kisses up Jamie’s thigh as Jamie bucks her hips, looking for some friction. If she’s being honest, she’d been turned on the whole night, so she is embarrassingly ready for this morning’s activity.

“Please,” Jamie manages, “Dani.”

She groans as Dani finally touches her where she needs most, as Dani presses down into her and kisses her hard and deep. When her underwear meets her pants on the floor and Dani’s tongue starts to explore, Jamie can’t help but wonder if someone can die of pleasure and excitement. When Dani picks up her rhythm, Jamie can’t hold back any longer, pushing her fingers through Dani’s hair to hold her there as she rides out her high. Dani slowly crawls up to rest on her, waiting for Jamie to say something.

“Poppins, that,” Jamie grins, “was amazing.”

“Really?” Dani’s eyes light up, like she hasn’t heard that often.

“Oh, yeah,” she responds with a kiss, “the best.”

Dani hums against her chest and snuggles back in, playing with Jamie’s fingers against her chest.

“Merry Christmas,” Jamie whispers.

“Oh shit!” Dani curses, “It’s Christmas… Crap, I am going to have to spend the whole day with my mom.” She lets out an exasperated sigh as she rubs her forehead in frustration. “She manages to ruin even my favorite holiday.”

“Well, at least it got off to a good start, eh?” Jamie taps her on the shoulder and waits until Dani meets her eyes, “You could run off with me for the day.”

Dani considers for a second. It would be a better use of her day, and she would certainly be happier… but she would never hear the end of it if she disappeared on Christmas.

“I wish I could, but you know that she’d kill me.”

“It was worth a shot,” Jamie shrugs.

It’s then that they hear the bathroom on the main floor slam shut, followed shortly after by the sound of the shower running.

“I guess that’s my cue to get going if I want to avoid the interrogation,” she sighs.

It breaks Dani’s heart to see her so resigned to this… this disappointment. It breaks her heart to have her leave. She shakes off the thought. _I’m only home for three more days_ she chastises herself. _I can’t ask her to wait for me_. With that heavy heart, she nods her head and Jamie starts putting herself back together. They promise to text and see each other again before Dani leaves, sharing a short but desperate kiss before Jamie heads toward the bedroom door. She stops with it half open, turning suddenly to look at Dani.

“I’m going to ask this now, so I don’t have to panic about when I’ll see you next or chicken out if I wait. Dani,” she takes a nervous breath, “Would you like to go on a date tomorrow? With me?”

And suddenly it’s like she’s back in high school, all nerves and excitement that this too cool Jamie is asking her out. Dani tries to act calm, but the eagerness can’t be contained when she nods and exhales, “Yes. Yes, absolutely.”

“Okay, great,” Jamie can’t hold back her smile, “I think the best thing that’s going to be open is the bowling alley, so be ready to lose Clayton.”

Dani laughs and waves as Jamie sneaks down the stairs, waves again as she watches Jamie retreat to her truck outside. She can’t stop smiling. A real date out with Jamie. A real date. Out.

They’d never done that before. Sure, they had gone on dates in high school, made out in parking lots and had secret picnics. Went to movies, very carefully passing as two friends on the town. But this would be different. And Dani cannot wait.

\---

Luckily, Dani’s mother seems unaware of their overnight visitor. The day goes by slowly, but Dani enjoys the Christmas movie marathon, especially when her mother chooses “White Christmas”. _Jamie’s favorite_ , she thinks. She spends the whole movie daydreaming about a different world where she and Jamie live in Vermont with these beautiful, snowy, snuggly Christmases. Maybe Jamie has her own shop there too, maybe she works there too. Or maybe she works at the local elementary school. But she definitely gets to pull Jamie close every night. In that other world, that other time. If only they could have that in this one, too.

Jamie keeps her promise to keep in touch, sending her pictures of presents, the walk she takes with her parents, their aging beagle Frank. Being adopted by the Taylors was one of the best things that ever happened to Jamie. And meeting Jamie is one of the best things to happen to Dani. She can’t help but smile at each image, an ache in her chest at the thought of having to let this go.

It’s afternoon when her mother starts insisting they talk about some plan to move her out to L.A. “A mother shouldn’t be this far from her daughter, Danielle,” she insists, going on and on about how if Dani refuses to move closer to Iowa, then she leaves her no choice. Dani cannot handle the anxiety and anger that washes over her at the mere suggestion that the main thing she had been outrunning all this time would just follow her along. Especially when the thing she wants most is left behind. She excuses herself to check the mail, of all things, but it’s all she can grasp at to get some air.

She doesn’t expect anything when she opens the flap, but there is an envelope. And envelop clearly delivered by hand, stuffed with something that is certainly not a letter. Written in a familiar script on the front is a simple _Dani_ and it stops her heart. She rips it open, a squished origami rose and braided bracelet dropping into her hand. The tears finally swell over as she looks at the gift, and she stands there shivering until she notices the note folded neatly inside. Her heart bursts at what is written, desperately searching for how to hold onto this.

_Dani_

_I didn’t want you to think I had forgotten you. Here’s your friendship bracelet you left in my car after prom. Sorry I told you I never found it. I wanted something to hold while you were gone. And I hope you remember what the rose means. I never forgot. And I mean it, too. Thank you for yesterday, last night, this morning, and so much more. I missed you, Dani. Merry Christmas. See you tomorrow, 6 o’clock sharp._

_-Jamie_


	5. Chapter 5

Jamie can’t stop panicking that maybe she made a mistake. Maybe she had misinterpreted the letter in Dani's purse, maybe it had fallen in there some how and she hadn’t thought about it in years? Maybe it had been forgotten relic in a high school girl’s room, intruding on the life of this successful women Dani had become.

But Dani had said yes. Dani had said yes to this date tonight, so maybe she isn’t imagining things. Maybe the letter was kept there. And maybe it means something to Dani too.

There’s a vibration in her pocket, and her hand moves of its own accord. Her heart waits until that sigh of relief.

_I never forgot you either, Jamie. Thank you_

And those four words are more calming than anything. She takes a deep breath and just stares, wondering how they ended up here. So close, yet so far away. It isn’t long that she lets herself sit in this bliss before she starts thinking about the date. She had said that word, right? Date? She had spent the day surrounded by family, but all she could focus on was that moment, wondering if it had come out right. She had wanted to do this for so long. And even though so much had happened, and they had done more than just a date, this felt special. This felt labelled. This felt like a step.

But as her mind starts to spiral, she looks back at that simple text. _I never for got you._ So much left unsaid, left between the lines. I never stopped thinking about you. I’ve always wanted you. Please, let’s find a way to make this work. And Jamie prays that she isn’t the only one wrestling with these desperate thoughts as she curls up to sleep. Across town, Dani smiles at the hope that they can find a way.

\---

She hasn’t been to a church in years, but she wouldn’t tell her mother that. Dani has found herself in a pink sweater and slightly too short skirt, the only almost acceptable option she has packed since the dress she had worn at yesterday’s party would “scandalize the village”, as some would say. Her mother had given her a scalding look, but hadn’t mentioned it, probably pleased that she had been able to pressure Dani into coming with her at all. Not that Dani has a problem with church. But church structure (especially the Catholic one) had never been kind to her.

But here she is, kneeling on a glorified two-by-four avoiding eye contact with a 12 foot tall Virign Mary. _It’s really rude, that nickname_ , she thinks. _Jesus had siblings. She’s not a virgin anymore, come on guys._ She can’t help the smirk as she imagines what her mother’s reaction would be if she said such a thing out-loud, and can’t hold back the soft chuckle at the image of what Jamie’s reaction would be. Jamie, she knows, would love that joke. And just as she turns to hide her smile from her mother, she makes eye contact with that devil herself.

Jamie is kneeling next to her dad, who is still making shadow puppets behind the pew they lean on. Her eyes widen as she recognizes Dani, Dani having the same shocked reaction herself. She knew Jamie’s family came here, too (the dangers of a small town in the Midwest), but had never actually seen her here. Throughout the rest of the mass, Dani can’t help but sneak looks across the way every few seconds, then ducking her eyes, embarrassed when Jamie catches her. And the thing is: Jamie is looking back every time.

\---

“Poppins! Didn’t expect to see you here,” Jamie says when they meet in the parking lot, her parents waiting by the car, giving each other a knowing look as they watch their daughter.

“I actually forgot that you guys went here, too,” Dani explains, “It’s been a long time since I’ve been.”

Jamie shifts nervously, looking back at her parents before continuing, “I’m really glad to see you, Dani. You liked your gift? That was okay?”

And Dani’s heart melts at the vulnerability. All of Jamie’s usual confident swagger is gone, and she can’t help her shy smile as she pulls back her sleeve to show the bracelet there.

“More than okay, you goof.”

Jamie can’t stop the path her eyes travel from the bracelet to Dani’s eyes and back down again. In this moment, she wants nothing more than to pull Dani close and kiss her. But under the watchful eyes of two sets of parents, she chooses to push Dani’s hair behind her ears, lingering her hand on her cheek for a moment before giving her nose then her chin a small boop with her index finger. The gesture they had used in high school to mean, “I know I can’t kiss you now but I wish I could”, and Dani gasps at the motion.

Then Dani steels herself, reaches out to grasp Jamie’s collar, and leans in to give her a quick, chaste kiss.

“There’ll be more of that later,” she whispers as she pulls away.

“Danielle!” her mother calls before slamming the car door and starting the car.

“Well, I guess that’s my cue,” Dani sighs.

“I’ll be there to pick you up at 6 sharp, you got it?” Jamie shouts after her, turning to join her parents after she sees the enthusiastic nod.

Her parents are struggling to hold in their laughter as Jamie buckles her seatbelt.

“What’s so funny, you lot?” she grins.

And she can’t miss the twinkle in her mom’s eye as she says, “Good for you, dear, getting a big smooch in the Catholic church parking lot.”

\---

Dani hasn’t been on a proper date since… well, if she can’t count the dates with Jamie, then never. Sure, she’s been out with people, but she’s never felt _this_. This nervous excitement that just won’t let her sit still. She has tried on 3 outfits so far, but her usual sweater/jeans combination just doesn’t feel special enough for tonight. Her mother had left her alone after briefly chewing her out for “embarrassing her in front of the other parishioners” on the way home, and the silence had only left Dani with more room to panic. She finally settles on a gray sweater and jean jacket, knowing that Jamie is going to be ecstatic no matter what she shows up in. _She would be ecstatic if I showed up with nothing_ , she thinks before shaking the thought away. Fun date first before fun times after date.

It’s then that her eyes settle on the rose. The folded rose that Jamie had left in an envelope just for her. The bracelet, still on her wrist, had been a surprise, sweet that Jamie had held onto it for all these years. But the rose… The rose had given her a jolt to the heart.

She’d had a small garden of these, hidden away now in a box under her bed in California, all made by Jamie. Meaning so many things over time. A gift when Dani was stressed, those ones accompanied by goofy notes to make her smile. A bouquet of them, exactingly perfect, presented to her on their first Valentine’s Day weeks after their first kiss. A hint of her when she wasn’t there, her gardener. And so much more wrapped up in those paper folds in the months before she left…

The doorbell pulls her from her thoughts as she sets the flower back on her desk, rushing to pull on her coat and down the stairs before her mother can beat her to it.

Luckily, her mother is nowhere to be seen, perhaps having learned a lesson from this morning. Dani takes a deep breath before throwing the door wide to a smirking Jamie looking at her watch.

“6:03,” she shakes her head, “Rung the bell at 6 even, Poppins. I’m afraid you’re going to be stuck with me three minutes later now. Can’t waste time, you see.”

And Dani can’t help it but kiss that smirk right off her face, biting softly on Jamie’s lower lip and earning a surprised groan in response before pulling away quickly.

“That’s what you get for being a jerk right away at the beginning of our date,” Dani laughs as Jamie pouts at the loss of contact.

They settle into Jamie’s truck, Dani making Jamie shiver at her touch on the back of her neck.

“Gosh, you are so easy, Jamie Taylor!” Dani laughs as she pulls back, settling her hand on Jamie’s over the center console.

“What? Can you blame me? Having a pretty girl like you doing things like that, bound to get a reaction,” Jamie says, ducking to hide the flush of her cheeks, as Dani grins proudly to herself.

\---

“Why didn’t you tell me you could bowl??” a shocked Jamie exclaims after Dani executes a particularly tricky strike.

“I know how competitive you are, and there was no way you’d stick to this date if you knew I would beat you,” Dani teases back as she gives a small bow. It really has been a blowout, she thinks, looking up to see that she is 20 ahead after 3 frames. The fact that Jamie seems to be aiming for the gutter certainly isn’t helping.

“Here,” Dani says, moving behind Jamie and grabbing her wrist, “Try not to be so tense. You’re pulling the ball right into the gutter. Just, let your arm swing.” And she moves her hand back then forward in a smooth arc, trying to ignore the feeling of Jamie pressing back into her.

“You know,” Jamie huffs, “When I imagined tonight, I was definitely seeing these roles reversed.”

Dani laughs and places a small kiss on her cheek, then whispers in her ear, “I’m sure there are plenty of things you can teach me.” Before returning back to the bench, leaving a dumbstruck Jamie staring down the alley. She gives a little shake of her head before letting her arm swing, trying to follow the path Dani had shown her.

“Eight!” Jamie shouts as she fist pumps, then points at Dani, “I can still get you, Clayton, watch out!” And Dani can’t stifle her laughter.

The rest of the night goes much of the same way, with Dani finishing with a resounding win, and an occasional lesson for Jamie. Not that Jamie can focus with Dani’s hips pressing into hers, but she’s certain that she hasn’t laughed this much in a long time. That she hasn’t felt this free. Ever.

And that leaves them here. In the parking lot. Where Dani has decided not to walk around to the passenger seat of the truck, but instead to lean back against the driver’s side door. Where she decided to pull Jamie closer, and caress the back of Jamie’s head, pulling her in to a passionate kiss.

Jamie can’t think as Dani’s fingers play with her hair, pulling her closer, and her tongue seeks permission that is eagerly granted. She pushes forward, pinning Dani to the side of the truck, grateful that the parking lot is mostly abandoned and that she had parked out of view of the main entrance. Jamie slides her hand under Dani’s shirt, gently gliding her thumb across the bare skin of her stomach, eliciting a loud moan from the blonde currently held against her truck.

Jamie pulls back, whispering, “I wish this could last forever.”

And that’s what does it. Dani pushes her back slightly, the start of tears in her eyes as she focuses on Jamie. She doesn’t say anything for a long time, as Jamie stands their under that stare, wishing more than anything that she had just kept her mouth shut. Until, finally,

“Jamie,” Dani takes a steadying sigh, “I can’t ask you to wait for me. And you know that you can’t ask me to stay. Not here.”

“I know,” Jamie sighs, running her hands through her hair in frustration. She shakes her head for moment, angry that she had ruined such a perfect night, that she had been so stupid. “I’m sorry I said anything. Just forget it.”

“But you’re right. We are going to have to talk about this eventually. I am leaving. In two days, Jamie,” Dani tries to hold back the tears.

“I can wait,” Jamie whispers.

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

And she can’t. They stand in silence, looking at each other, at the town that keeps bringing them together, until the weight is too much to bear. And Jamie drives Dani home. And she holds back tears, even as Dani sobs into her shoulder as she says good-bye. She holds onto her composure until she has seen Dani through the door, home safe. Then, as she pulls away from the house, through a heavy sob she yells a frustrated, “Fuck!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took so long! Hopefully this is satisfying (sorry for the angst; promise everything will turn out alright!) Next chapter will be some fun high school flashbacks!

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that was the first chapter. Looking forward to the rest! Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
